Funny sms

Genetic research has shown, that when a woman and a man laugh during intercourse, then a nice and wise baby will be born. Detriment, that your parents didn't know that…

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Stay level and stay vertical!!!

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Bust – ornament or weight? Had an ornament

– women would wear it on top, if the burden – on the back.

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-.:- -:.–.:- -:.–.:- -:.- You've been to the seaside before??? No?! You are now!!!

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Emperor Claudius was shy and did not dare to murder his wife, but you can always try… 😉

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You want to be loved with true and sincere love??? THIS BUY YOURSELF A DOG!!!

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Hard work can pay off in the future, and laziness benefits NOW…

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Virtue slept together on occasion, when in the morning the virtues rose, it was gone.

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What are you going to do tomorrow, make… day after tomorrow

– you will have two days off!

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What is this: there are no arms or legs, and up the stairs tup tup tup?———–ball

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Hi. I have a request… send me your photo… Because I collect POACEMONS 😉

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What is the difference between a white cow and a black cow: the white cow does that: muuu…

The black cow does that: Muuu-men…

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What is the difference between a man and a sperm? Like! Only one in a million can become human.

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Is your brother an only child, or has any siblings?

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Do you know, which looks good on you? AND!!!

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I will give a well-paid paperwork, on the construction site: tapping cement bags.

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Why God Made Man?

Because the vibrator does not mow the lawn.

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Why can't a woman find a guy, who understands her, has good taste, he is wonderful and loved, he does not invite his friends home and devotes every free moment to her? Because such a guy already has a guy.

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The second round is always faster.

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I would like to go to heaven because of the climate, but… so many friends in hell…

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Pension: less than life rate.

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If the goat had not jumped, so her panties wouldn't fall off!

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If I had a face like you, so I would sit on it.

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When everything goes wrong, when you are filled with pain and despair, as tears run down your cheeks, then I want to be with you. Handkerchief seller.

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You must have been very tiny, since you don't remember, how your parents took you out of the orphanage. It's so sad…

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Two policemen are walking beside the forest. One is asking: You see this forest? No, because trees hide me.

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Go to college, and you will be an educated unemployed.

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What is the difference between a man and E.T.? A:: – E.T. at least he called home.

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If you don't text me back – then you will be lost with me.

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How hedgehogs breed? …CAREFULLY! 🙂

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How do you make yourself, to… call me!

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How is it? Matches are for adults, and children play with them. Boobs are for kids, and adults play with them.

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The woman is like a rifle bullet. First, it ravages the pocket, later it hurts the heart and comes out sideways…

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A woman should treat a guy like a dog! Feed well, not to irritate and let go for the evening…

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Women liked Michael and lived with him, because he was calm, understanding and not too demanding, and then they were quickly fed up with it, because he was calm, understanding and not too demanding.

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The women don't know, what they want… But they do not leave it alone, until they get it…

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Women are like translation: beautiful are not faithful, faithful are not beautiful.

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I love rain. Only He is flying at me.

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I love work. I can look at her for hours.

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Put all your money in alcohol, they get the most interest there 😉

Cool – it's just an exercise sms…

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My body craves your warmth. I can smell you all night long. Where are you goddamn pajamas?!!?

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Do not steal – power hates competition.

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Do not drink, when you are driving a car, because it spills too much.

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Don't listen to beautiful and tender words, because you will fall like an eraser into a pencil.

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………………………………You don't know what's going on? Your phone got sick with smallpox.

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No boys – no love. No love – no sex.

No sex – no children. No children – no school. No school – no teachers.

No teachers – no homework. No homework

– no problem!

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so what? You are not stupid, that you leave everyone like that and go read that text message right away???

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What are you staring at???? you got a text message! 🙂

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From the Network Operator: The limit of your free minutes has been donated to a charity. THANK YOU!

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From the Network Operator: Your current phone number, e.g.. 602 333 333 has been replaced with 602 33 33 33. We apologize for any inconvenience.

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An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, why an ass for money.

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You drink? Much? You can't help yourself? Bell, I will help. Two heads are better than one.

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Writes to you, because I do not have anything to do. I am finishing because I have nothing to write…

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BEER is not an SMS, it will not come by itself.

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Follow the arrows… =>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>=>

Do you have to read every stupid thing, which they will send you??????

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During a divorce, the fault lies on both sides: on the side of the wife and mother-in-law.

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They say women are like chickens, the best are breasts and thighs :)))

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Because I have nothing to do, I am writing this SMS. Because I have nothing to write home about, I am finishing this.

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It's time for bedtime, because the moon is already shining, the children are going to sleep, the teddy bear flies for the bottle.

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Tell me, that you love me.

Your cell phone.

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Please, do not hit the keyboard as you type a text message. Your cell phone.

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Send me your photo, Please… because my neighbor doesn't believe in UFOs!

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Hands up!!! Do not move!!! Don't even twitch!!! Wait for further instructions!!!

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The roses are red, violet vials, Frankenstein is ugly, but what the hell happened to you?

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Said a lily to the butterfly: Nobody is watching, please, please.

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SEX is like NOKIA connecting people, jak PEPSI ask for more, jak NIKE just do it, jak SAMSUNG everyone is invited…… And virgins are like an IDEA – out of reach.

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I am selling a vintage woman 1982, freshly after the review, spare parts, not whipped, negotiated price.

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By shining an example, you improve the country's energy balance!

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TAATIITAI TIATI TAATI OTIE… And why are you getting tired, after all, you don't know Morse code anyway.

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This is a sms of happiness… Send it to 5 people, and you will be lucky! Bożena W.. shipped and won a washing machine, Bogdan W. he did not send and his leg was severed…

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A friendly hockey match Poland – Russia. Ours won. Telegram from Putin: congratulations STOP. STOP clothing. Gas STOP.

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Three stages in a man's life: 1. I want to have her!!! 2. I have!!! 3. I've had enough of her!!!

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Your parents must have a field, bo… where would they get a huge beet like you?

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For only one person a day, I can be nice. Unfortunately, this is not your day, dupku.

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BE CAREFUL!!! One drop is enough, to make you a lifelong Daddy!!!

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Hello! I am just yours and a new text message! Maybe you have a cold beer?

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Everything, what good, is illegal, immoral, or it causes weight gain.

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In connection with the amendment to the Labor Code regarding the rest break, We will switch your mobile phone off on 30 minutes every 4 hours.

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Behind the bus and the boy, no need to chase, will be next.

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With each day of my life the number of these inevitably increases, who can kiss me in d…!!!

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A man is like a computer, would you wait a little, and there would certainly be a better one.

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No job is a disgrace, but each one is tiring…

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I wish you, so that the stone falling from the heart does not stop you on the way.